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Why Can’t We Talk About Painful Sex?

Article – Dame

I lost my virginity at the ripe old age of 26. 

I’d grown up believing I would save myself for marriage, but I’d left that mindset behind after college, when I quit the evangelical church and started at a mainline Protestant congregation where no one cared if you drank or had sex. After abandoning evangelicalism, it took a while to find the right person with whom to embark on this new adventure. At 26, the idea of sex had developed such an aura of mystery and heat and intoxication for me that I wanted to have it with someone I really liked. 

Read On at Dame

‘Vagina Obscura’ Author Rachel E. Gross Takes Us on a Daring Anatomical Voyage

Published Work – Ms. Magazine

“There comes a time in every woman’s life when she sees herself as medicine has seen her: a mystery. An enigma. A black box that, for some reason, no one has managed to get inside.”

—Rachel E. Gross

Ten years ago, I went to see my ob-gyn, complaining of pain with sex. A pelvic examination revealed nothing. “Everything looks okay down there,” she said from her three-legged stool, adding that she would order a pelvic ultrasound. She paused a moment, then uttered words that would haunt me.

“Pelvic pain is the black box of gynecology.”

Read on at Ms.

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